who gets on here anyway?

so I have a million thoughts racing. I wish I could write a book, a great book. It could be about everything I've experienced in life. The good times, bad times, all that jazz. It'd be a romantic comedy...light on both the romance and comedy (I'd always my life to be like one of those movies). It'd have great vocabulary, and amazing descriptives scenes. Pages of beautiful useless words. I would want to write this beautiful book, and fill it with all my secrets. Every little thing that I have burried deep inside, and guess who else would be in there...you. I'd write all about you, all of you. ha this isn't one of those "I bet you think this song is about you" things, I'm just saying everyone would be in it. The story of our lives. Shelby has a great album name, "you, me, and everyone we know"...I think I'd want to steal it. Sorry, it just sounds so awesome and genuine. So my book ladies and ladies gentlemen would be a best seller. Everyone would read it and would be an amazing hit; that is of course, had I not thrown it to the bottom of the sea. Look all you want, you'll never find it. It's burried in a chest, deep in my chest...it's a great story, but it's never going to be told. Not yet at least. Maybe later. Maybe one day you'll really know me, and all of my secrets. But I better hold off for now, I'd like you to like me for just a little bit longer. Good night boys and girls.

Happy Fathers Day

So it's been a while since I've put anything in here.

Life is unexpectedly really great right now! I'm loving every minute of it.

Thank you to all my friends that make my life so amazing!

Last night was way fun, thanks again Sarah :]

Happy Mother's Day

I wish I could have told you in person.
Lord knows how that would have gone down.
Is it that hard to talk?
All I can do is smile...
and oddly enough, it's getting easier to see yours.
You are happy, I can see it.
I don't want to hold you from anything,
not that I ever could.
You are your own person, you always have been.
I could never change that...
or be a part of it.
Nevermind me, I know not what I'm saying.
I would like to say,
you were happy I believe;
once with me.
I would like to, but I don't think I should.
"We musn't assume children",
The teacher proclaims.
It's been a long time since then,
but I really do want to talk to you.
It doesn't have to be about us, or lack-there-of,
I just want to talk.
Maybe after this guy,
if there is an after.
I imagine there will be though,
I know there was for me.
What happened though?
That's all I really want to know,
what happened?
Was I too clingy?
Too distant?
Did I talk too much?
Not enough?
My looks?
Maybe it wasn't me.
Maybe you just got bored.
I can understand that,
I hardly suprised you with anything.
Unfortunately I couldn't drive you around,
I imagine you would have loved a day in the snow.
You were always so beautiful though.
The thing was, you didn't know it;
not like I did at least.
The sad thing for me is, you're still beautiful.
I wish it weren't that way.
I begun feeling that I almost wish
I had never met you; you cant miss
what you never had, right?
"It's better to have loved, and lost,
than to have never loved at all."
At least that's what they say.
Is it true though?
I keep playing in back in my head,
maybe if I had done something different.
Maybe if I had fought you, would you have stayed?
Or would I just be delaying the inevittable?
If only you would give me a sign,
anything to just let me know that you felt something.
Did you?
Just know that I really do love you, and care about you.
I wish you well, and can honestly say I that am truly happy for you.
There is just so much that I wish I could say,
but there's no possible way you would let me talk to you about something serious;
nor would I be able to work up the nerve.
Maybe, just maybe, if I can catch you when you're free, and I don't have anything to loose.
What's the worst that could happen anyway?
"No", is that it?
Well if we're going off of me not having anything to loose, then I would ask again.
You owe me that much I think.
So, if you see me, please don't just smile.
Say my name.
You don't understand how much I light up when you say my name.
I'm still in love with the thought of us.
I'm still in love with the memory of you.
But for now, I will keep up with my facade,
I will wear my pretty little mask when you come around.
Just know, not a day goes by that I don't think of you.
Sincerley, me

the truth

there's a chain on my heart
I cant describe it
It's like a cold metal bar
that weighs on my mind
and that's not all of the total dilemma

I cant
you cant
only the truth can...


and there's a ball on the chain
at the pit of my stomach
and it keeps me awake
it hurts me at night
but that's not all of what I've got going

I cant
you cant
only the truth can...
change

And doctors they shrink on diseases they cannot explain
and my problems are with all the reasons there is so much pain
only the truth can explain
because

I cant
you cant
only the truch can change

TGIF

Now what a day
and as it fades out of sight
it's looking like another lonely friday night

ugh

so pretty much, I'm out of shape. I went on a run with my brother about an hour or so ago, it was just around the block. Looks like I'm going to be doing this every other night now, along with hopefully going to the gym!

dream tunnel

It's crazy how real a dream can be.
You could swear that it were true, and in that dream, it is true.
The only downside is: eventually, you have to wake up.
But ya know...that dream made my day!